7 Reasons Why Premarital Counseling Is Worth Your Time

One of the best things couples can do is to help save you both a lot of stress and possible future divorce is to invest in premarital counseling. According to Psychology Today, research suggests that couples who choose pre-marital counseling have lower divorce rates than those that do not.

These seven reasons are more than enough reasons to invest in your marriage before your marriage begins.

1) Addressing Issues

Couples who attend premarital counseling have the opportunity to discuss issues that most couples argue about and most often lead to divorce or separation. It will help you address important issues before they arise and assist you in learning what the other person believes about the issue so that you can come to an agreement before you walk down the aisle.

Small problems can turn into big problems if they are given a chance to fester. Counseling will help you work through any negative emotions before they turn into a big problem.

2) Counselor Wisdom

Oftentimes, it helps having someone to talk to that has already been through the issues you will be facing. A counselor who has been married has wisdom from experience and will provide you good insights. Someone older and wiser can see that you and your fiancé qualities are good. It really helps to listen to someone who can give you insight on problems that may arise and a counselor with wisdom can do this for you.

3) Everyone Wins

All couples can benefit from premarital counseling, even the ones that seem perfect on the outside. In reality, the perfect couples are probably the ones that have sought help from outside parties or modeled their behavior toward one another from others who have been in successful relationships. Essentially, with counseling you will learn how to compromise and work with the other person to ensure happiness and longevity.

4) Compassionate Communication

One of the most important aspects of any marriage is compassionate communication. When a couple stops caring and stops talking to one another, the marriage will eventually fall apart. Counseling can help you learn how to be a good listener, so you know what the other person wants and needs. When you live with someone day after day, it’s easy to take each other for granted, but by keeping an open line of communication and expressing love, you build a relationship that can withstand the test of time.

One-on-one therapy helps couples learn to talk to one another and express feelings in a compassionate way that will not cause harm the relationship.

5) And The Finances!

Counseling can help you create an understanding about your future budget, the credit of the person you will marry, and discover any loans and outstanding balances the person may have. Unfortunately, financial problems can destroy even the healthiest of relationships, so it helps to sit down with a marital counselor and draw up a plan of action for how you handle your bank accounts and how you will handle paying for your responsibilities. Understanding and accepting your spouse’s spending habits before you say I do can help you avoid money issues in the future.

6) Discover Something New

Premarital counseling sessions will give you the opportunity to discuss things that do not come up in normal conversations, such as hurtful past experiences, sex, and expectations. Too often, we think we know our spouse well, but we may not learn of past abuse or how the person expects the marriage to be. The relationship your spouse has with your in-laws will usually reflect on how your children will be disciplined and treated, so pay attention to other relationships.

7) Prevent Divorce

One of the most important reasons to seek premarital counseling is to prevent divorce. Studies show that couples that attend counseling sessions are 30 percent less likely to entertain the notion than those who do not. This lowers your risk of divorce to around 20 percent. Premarital counseling will help increase your likelihood for happiness because you will identify your fears, values, beliefs, needs, and desires and learn how to communicate them to your partner. The major cause of a marriage breakdown is lack of communication. Premarital counseling will help empower you with the tools you need to build trust for one another and the techniques you can adopt to support one another.

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Rabbi Melinda Bernstein





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