“Death is of the body is going to happen. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will happen.” What can we do today to be better prepared for our inevitable end?
To begin with, we can start having open and honest conversations that reflect our feelings about death, the afterlife.. Many family members feel the need to protect a loved one by not discussing a situation because they fear the conversation. These family members are actually protecting themselves from their own fears and grief. For example, the doctor tells you that your elderly parent has days left to live and you don’t tell the parent or your children. By withholding this information, everyone misses a precious chance to share their deepest thoughts and feelings, joys and fears about life, death and the meaning of it all. Most likely, the person who is dying already knows they are dying and really wants to talk about it.
Of all the subjects we struggle to talk about, death is perhaps the most difficult. It is awkward, upsetting – easier to ignore or brush aside. We don’t like to think about our own mortality. I feel it’s important to encourage and foster opportunities to have those deep and meaningful conversations while we can.
When I want to discuss my own end-of-life wishes, the response from my family is, “We don’t need to worry about that now; it’s far in the future.” Well this is not always the case. Yet no one wants to think this could happen to their family nor is it something we can predict will happen. Only god knows and with faith, it’s better to open to our fears about death while we are alive than to be buried with them inside us.
So, consider having “the conversation.” Talk about different scenarios and ask, “what would you want if _____?” If you are uncertain of how to approach this with family members, find a neutral party who would be able to ask those sensitive questions. I am available to provide spiritual support. I am willing to assist you. My background comes from personal experience with my fathers passing and from working with families who care more about loving support than the fear of death. This endearing experience will make a world of difference to everyone who embraces the conversation that death of the body is going to happen.
Rabbi Melinda offers grief counseling for the aftermath of a death in the family. Melinda brings comfort to many in her performance of funeral services.
954-901-1355
Comment