This past summer I sought a therapeutic process of writing my own funeral. Now I want to share why I wrote my own funeral. I got the idea of doing this due to my experience of guiding people through the funeral process of a loved one. When a loved one dies, the experience of urgency to share stories about them with their Funeral Service Leader occurs so the funeral will be meaningful. The urgency also opens up the mourner to deal with funeral planning and logistics, if the deceased neglected their funeral pre-planning. The stress of loss is more than enough yet coupled with the emotional task of decision making drains on the psyche, to say the least.
For years I’ve devoted myself to rituals to expand my psyche and deepen my soul experience. I’m not talking about drugs although one ritual with the toxic sweat of a frog completely changed my life while living in the mountains of Northern California. I’m talking about subtle shifts to enhance my faith and grow as a person. Writing has been one of the therapies I deeply enjoy.
I am currently 61 and although I’ve been coughing due to a lingering virus, I am basically healthy. In fact my labs are so wonderful that the doctor commends me for coming in to get checked annually. I do almost everything right. I keep my stress levels down, eat right, get adequate rest and regular exercise. My life is currently uncomplicated and I love what I get to offer others. The truth is, we never know when our last day on earth will be. And so I chose to face the sorrow and the joy of my life only to create my funeral service and hope I encourage you to contemplate yours.
Here are four simple reasons why you should write your funeral:
- To gain appreciation for all that you’ve accomplished. If you feel you are lacking in appreciation, write your hopes and dreams.
- Because nobody knows you better than yourself.
- To alleviate the daunting and stressful task for your heirs.
- To explore grief so you can bring more joy.
We all know that life is not always simple and we tend to procrastinate and avoid the inevitable. Simply put, you can always start small in small steps and put reality into perspective. The reality is that we all die. With regard to your eternal resting place, putting the burden upon your loved ones to choose is irresponsible and disrespectful, in my opinion. With regard to the poetry read at your funeral, you may have a certain taste, which is yours to be voiced. You may have favorite quotes that nobody knows but you. As an example, I resonate to many different styles of jewish prayer music. In fact, there are several female rabbis whose works will be shared at my funeral. One of which is Rabbi Shefa Gold.
All that being said, where there is a will there is a way. I’m offering discovery sessions if you want to get started. Otherwise, you can find good insights on FuneralWise.com
PS: While the shovel in the main image is facing upward, some who shovel the earth may do so with the shovel facing downward. This simply means the mourner is having a hard time letting go. It is my hope that most will shovel facing upward. Onward and upward into the next world (Olam HaBa) we all go….
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