Grief is an internal process, which results from the pain of loss. Believe it or not, you can begin the process of grief and prepare yourself for the inevitable. Why would anyone want to prepare for grief? Well, the pain of grief can be very intense and difficult to deal with. If you’ve lost a loved one suddenly, getting though the shock is only the first part of a probable long journey. The deeper the love typically determines the depth of the recovery.
Grief is a recovery journey. This journey forces us to move into uncomfortable situations and unchartered territory. The journey forces us to grow spiritually, whether we want to or not. The journey teaches us to become better listeners to what the universe offers us and hopefully, with the passage of time, the journey heals us.
When the healing process is an urgent matter, modifying our behavior is a must. So what I am about to tell you is that you can prevent grief journey from railroading you away from your current satisfied lifestyle. Modify your behavior now. Wake up to the games you are playing with yourself. Stop avoiding conversations because what you resist persists. True intimacy is the healer and God is waiting for you to be intimate. Read more about Jewish Healing & Magic
I am at a happy place in my own life, but it wasn’t always that way. I experienced a sudden separation and subsequent divorce after 24 years with my former spouse. By the time we separated, we were broken beyond repair. It took me the better of ten years took move through the layers of pain I avoided during marriage.
During these years I learned to be humble. I learned from my brokenness, how strong I needed to become. I also learned how to prepare myself for the inevitable grief that would be in my future. I applied what I learned to heal my relationship to my father, of blessed memory. Thankfully I had years to do this before he died. After he passed on, my life as rabbi took on a true life of it’s own. I hope whatever you are working on, the below will help you prepare for grief.
Be curious about yourself.
Slow down and really take a look at things. As an example, let’s say you have a physical issue that’s persisting and it get’s worse when you’re rushing to your meeting. Ask yourself if anxiety and fear are making your issue worse?
Spend time in nature.
By simply listening to nature sounds, feeling of the earth beneath your feet, the wind on your back and the sun on your face, you will have greater ease in general. Spending time in nature will help you evaluate life’s treasures and therefore push you to look at your own.
Find someone you can trust to share your feelings with.
The idea of sharing our deepest concerns sheds a new light on things. Unless you know of a friend who is willing to listen and reflect back with their wisdom, it’s best to choose a therapist or coach as they are both professional and impartial. I’m here for you.
Renew Your Faith.
Faith brings comfort to our daily lives. We must never underestimate the power of faith, especially during the hard times. Faith empowers every journey for it’s naturally a spiritually elevating stress buster.
Change your environment.
Changing your environment may bring you tremendous opportunity. Let’s say you are trying lots of new things and are still feeling edgy. Something may not be right with your friendships and/or workplace. Simply put, let go of that which weighs you down. My time from 2012 to 2015 in Northern California reshaped my entire world.
Forgive, but don’t forget.
First of all, we forgive for ourselves, not for the other person. Forgiveness frees up our energy to be put to better use. So if you can see yourself honestly and humbly, you can file away that painful story in the archive of your days.
What do you have to lose if you take on any of the above? Just grief my friend, just grief.
Melinda Bracha Bernstein is a freelance rabbi providing wedding and funeral services and spiritual guidance in Southeastern Florida. Melinda’s wisdom is rooted from her unique spiritual journey. Learn more:
melinda@MelindaBernstein.com
954-901-1355
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